Three years and you can move on like that! You're just their back-up plan. To soften the bitterness of parting, she and I have created profiles on dating sites. Excessive contact via email and texting prior to meeting will play into your fantasies of what you believe someone is like. It's not healthy. Should I just keep trying despite the circumstances and how I feel? Instead of being distrustful of others and wondering what people's intentions are I've been welcoming them into my life with open arms and have not been disappointed as of yet.


And the reason for that is very simple. More often than not, dumpers emotionally detach long before they actually break up with their dumpees. Oftentimes, they leave for someone else —and other times, they immediately download a dating app with the intention to connect with thousands of nearby singles. This article is for all the dumpees who are in disbelief that their ex is on Tinder and other dating apps and websites right after the breakup. If your ex went on Tinder right after the breakup, you can expect your ex to get involved with someone new relatively quickly. But little does your ex know that although it might be easy to find someone to replace your spot, your ex will still have to face many difficulties that come with a new relationship. Your ex will first have to get to know a few people, discern if they are compatible and get along with each other, and finally put in a lot of effort to make it work. Your ex already feels exhausted from your relationship, so dating another person right away might not be the best idea. Your ex will first have to go through all the dating phases before he or she decides whether to pursue or abandon the relationship. This means that your ex will have to date and probably even sleep with some people before he or she comes to that conclusion. Your ex might have to date one person or perhaps many people. Nobody really knows.

My boyfriend and I broke up. Up until the last second of our relationship he insisted that he still loves me. Yet the very next day he was back online dating. And no, I wasn't on there looking for anyone else, that's not what happened. In fact, I am still very much in love with him. And no, he wasn't on there before we broke up either. Those are the facts. I don't understand why someone would insist they love you and say that they want things to work out but don't think they go here, then go looking for someone else the next day.

That would be mean they don't love you, right? Then why would they insist they do? And if they do, how could they be looking for someone else so soon? Can someone help me make any sense of this? Also, because he is looking, I stupidly decided maybe I should, too. So I now have an online dating profile again, too.

I am devastated and heartbroken and don't feel ready for this at all as I still love him and it wouldn't be fair to anyone else either. I feel that this is going to take me a long time to get over. Is it a good idea to have one anyway? Should Https:// just keep trying despite the circumstances and how I feel?

Is this a good method to recover from a loss like this for some people or something? And if you were him and saw that I had one now too how would you feel? Only make an online profile for the purposes of seriously finding someone. Don't do it to make him jealous, or to find a rebound. Trust me, it's easier to suffer the old fashioned way rather than making things even more complicated.

More info far as his words and actions? Good question. Did he offer a reason why he wanted to end things? Online dating has it's disadvantages too. Communication must be truthful. It's the only way you can truly see if someone is legit or not.

You don't have the advantages of the hugs after a disagreement, or being able to see someones face or body language when they speak. You're right. I only had the online dating profile for 1 night.

I got rid of it within less than 24 hours. It felt terrible. The whole time I felt sick to my stomach about it. Several people talked with me and I just couldn't even continue. It felt incredibly wrong. It's not fair to anyone else and I can't even pretend to look for someone else while I still feel the way I do about him. As for the reason things ended, we had been arguing a lot lately. He couldn't seem to get over little things, or took a long time to recover at least.

He seemed to be having a lot of issues, a lot of which he started to take out on me. He seemed unhappy with life and it seemed to start seeping into our relationship and I became unhappy with things and emotional about everything as well. We both were. I would get sad and he would get angry.

I came up with ways to fix this communication breakdown, which we both agreed were working. Online dating right after breakup guess it was just too late.

He said he loves me and wants to be with me he just doesn't know if he can anymore. He said he doesn't have the energy left to put into fighting like this and needed more from me in order to try that hard again. I tried sooo hard to fix things but I couldn't fix them by myself.

When things got tough I tried to fix them and he was just at a loss and didn't know what to do anymore. I cried and told him how much I love him and that it didn't have to be this way. I could see he couldn't do this anymore but was having a hard time saying it all. He said relationships are work but shouldn't be this much of a struggle. He seemed so concerned with his needs not being met, yet previously he had told me I was the only person who's ever been able to meet his needs physically, mentally, and emotionally when things were good anyway.

My needs were not being met at that point either but I was still trying to make him happy and I overlooked a lot because I love him so much. The thing is, he used to tell me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, marry me, that I was his perfect match, the best he ever had, the best thing that ever happened to him, that he would always be there for me and never give up on me, and yet that's exactly what he did when things got bad, he gave up. Up until the very end he insisted that he still loved me and I said if he did he wouldn't be doing this and he would fix it with me.

Then he got very angry with me for saying that wasn't true. I gathered my things, gave him back my key to his house, and left. I still can't help but feel devastated. When things were good, they were beyond amazing. When they were bad they were really bad.

But why throw away something that could have been that amazing again? What we had before all of this arguing was something that's hard to come by. I guess he just couldn't handle it anymore. I hated the arguing too. It was so sad and it hurt like hell. I feel like a lot of the arguing was about little things that turned into big things. It wasn't an issue of core values or anything like that.

I still wish it could have been resolved and think it could have if he gave it more of a chance rather than take on the attitude of when things get difficult to try less, or so it seemed, although he says he was trying but admits not as much as could have toward the end. The way he was at the end was really horrible.

Online dating right after breakup thought about writing him a letter and letting him know that Online dating right after breakup still love him and that I'm sorry while acknowledging that things were over but still wishing him the best just to get some closure. Then I thought about asking him if he would like to try to be friends someday although it's too soon.

But I would always want more. And he has moved on or at least it appears that he is trying to. I guess that is a bad idea? I really want him to be happy but I need to be, too. Is the letter or asking for friendship down the road a bad idea?

Are either a good idea? Or should I just say nothing ever? I'm hurting so much. I'm probably not thinking right and I don't know what the right answer is. Ok hon, I got half way down the page reading your second reply and realized something.

You and he didn't have an online relationship, right? He just made an online profile after the break up, correct? I was under the assumption that you and he hadn't met before. I was WAY off base there. We guys do it sometimes. Just like stupidly you made a profile, guys can do it too. After break up, when you are depression, you just make a profile, go out to make feel good about yourself.

Doesn't necessarily mean seriously searching. Molly, no. We didn't have an online or long distance relationship or anything like that. It was in person and we did just about everything together. And yes, he reactivated an old online dating profile the day after the break up.

Itachi, thank you for your input as well. I just can't grasp why someone would insist that they still love me and yet online dating right after breakup looking for someone else the next day. I tried for a matter of hours and that was days after the break up and it made me feel sick inside. I'm having a hard time understanding.