When she shares her struggle, listen and handle with care. Of course I said yes. I can empathize and ask questions and listen. There are other versions of this type of behavior, each having its own specific type of offender and victim. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Just listen to her and speak with love. As femmes, we are less likely to offend the general public based solely on our appearance. While expressing my anger is healthier in blog form versus taking it out on people in my day-to-day life, I realize that to someone reading this, I may come across as quite the Debbie Downer. She brings out the protector in me, making me want to hold her and take care of her forever, to journey to the end of the earth or fight off an army of orcs if I had to.

WOMAN | MAN

To be honest, I dated her with the intention of experimentation. I was intrigued by the butch-femme dynamic that seemed to be so steeped in lesbianism and wanted to see what it would be like. Looking back, I realize how shallow and selfish I was to use her in satisfying my own curiosity, but the universe got me back when I ended up falling hard for a woman who had never so much as used concealer to cover a zit. I had no choice but to broaden my perspective in order to see things through her eyes. My intention is to provide you with things to consider when choosing to date a butch woman; things that you might not have considered before. All guidelines go out the window if you are not in a safe and equitable relationship. These rules are only to be followed if you have a mutual trust and respect. I am presuming that, in choosing your partner, you have found someone who makes it her priority to maintain the best interest of your relationship. If not, the rules are clearly not applicable. Butch women are well aware of how the world views them.

To be honest, I dated her with the intention of experimentation. I was intrigued by the butch-femme dynamic that seemed to be so steeped in lesbianism and wanted to see what it would be like. Looking back, I realize how shallow and selfish I was to use her in satisfying my own curiosity, but the universe got me back when I ended up falling hard for a woman who had never so much as used concealer to cover a zit.

I had no choice but to broaden my perspective in order to see things through her eyes. My intention is to provide you with things to consider when choosing to date a butch woman; things that you might not have considered butch femme dating member match list. All guidelines go out the window if you are not in a safe and equitable relationship. These rules are only to be followed if you have a mutual trust and respect. I am presuming that, in choosing your partner, here have found someone who makes it her priority to maintain the best interest of your relationship.

If not, the rules are clearly not applicable. Butch women are well aware of how the world views them. Simply dressing and grooming for a butch woman can be a political statement—she is saying that the socially constructed version of womanhood does not define her.

The confidence she has now has probably been hard-won. She has butch femme dating member match list experienced her fair share of negativity at the cost of being true to herself. Much like being a butch woman requires a certain level of confidence and security, so does loving one. Femmes who otherwise were accustomed to walking the streets unnoticed as a gay woman must become accustomed to a different life—one butch femme dating member match list being unrecognized by passersby may be a thing of the past.

And you have to be okay with that. Requesting that your butch girlfriend or wife downplay her masculinity can feel like a rejection of who she is. If you cannot love her fully—in the street, at a wedding, at a family event—you cannot love her at all. There are certain scenarios and situations that can be cause for concern for butches that we femmes might not notice. For a butch woman, the rules are different.

As femmes, we are less likely to offend the general public based solely on our appearance. In sharing life with a butch woman, you may learn that the conveniences afforded to you have changed. When your partner communicates to you that a certain situation is potentially platonic dating tumblr, heed her words.

And I now have to live with some of the damage I caused by questioning what she knows to be true free dating asian singles her lived experience.

Trust that your butch lady is keen to what is safe and what is not. There are other versions of this type of behavior, each having its own specific type of offender and victim. Google Matt Damon and whitesplaining if you need an update. Yes, we femmes are gay women and are not immune to prejudice due to our sexuality.

But, our experiences more info lesbians can, in many ways, be quite different—and sometimes easier. When your butch girlfriend or wife trusts you enough to share some of her struggles being a masculine woman, believe her.

Have you ever felt completely unheard and misunderstood when sharing this with a man? Has a man ever tried to diminish that experience or talk you out of what you know to be true? How did that feel? Remember that butch femme dating member match list your beautiful butch lady opens up. Before we can share them with the people we love, we first have to take time to process for ourselves.

Keep this in mind when your butch partner begins to link up to you profiles for females dating her experiences as a butch woman.

Know that this type of communication may leave her feeling a bit vulnerable. Just listen to her and speak with love. In general, when we build a romantic relationship with someone, we want nothing more than to have empathy for their hardship. We know that, if we can walk through that pain, we can love our partners on a deeper level.

And, although facing their pain in such a real way may hurt, it will only serve to further solidify the bond that we share. Unfortunately for us femmes, when it comes to understanding our butch counterparts, there will always be a barrier that cannot be crossed. And that barrier is lived experience. As a lesbian woman who has been feminine throughout my life, I cannot fully understand what it is like to live as my wife; a butch woman.

I have not walked through this world knowing that being who I am is an affront to the sensibilities of many. I simply cannot understand. I can empathize and ask questions and listen. But, I cannot completely know. I cannot fully understand what it means to be butch any more than a man can fully understand what it means to be woman.

As a white woman, I cannot fully understand what it means to be black. I can only listen to her and support her and defend her right to be exactly who she is. I must also include that, if you are attracted to butches, you should go for it. I have been drawn to masculine women for as long as I can remember, but shied away from taking a shot with one because I got caught up in superficialities.

Those bothersome conversations more info happen, just as I feared. I feared that I would be perceived as the weaker, more subservient partner because, again, society has such a narrow view of what strength looks like. And, again, I often am perceived as such, just as I feared. But I cannot base my decisions on fear of the prejudices and ignorance of others. So, here I am: a proud feminine lesbian navigating marriage within the context of a butch-femme relationship.

It has its own set of struggles as, in so many ways, we come from different worlds, but it is please click for source own unique version of happiness. Skip to content. If she deems it necessary to leave a situation, leave first, ask questions later.

When she shares her struggle, listen and handle with care. Getty Images I must also include that, if you are attracted to butches, you should go for it. Share on Facebook Share. Share on Twitter Tweet.

WOMAN | MAN